Usually, a divorce is not a thing you wish to share with many people. But sometimes, you need to plan divorce secretly, even with your spouse ignorant about it. Yet, when you live under the same roof and sleep in the same bed, it is difficult to hide something from your partner. So, you need thorough preparation if you wish to arrange a secret divorce successfully.
Why Do You Need a Secret Divorce
The primary step is to decide whether you need a secret divorce at all. Some situations leave you no choice but to hide everything from your spouse. If you are in an abusive, manipulative, or any kind of toxic relationship, if you are afraid of your personal or your children’s safety, and the secret divorce is the only way to get your marriage terminated, then go for it.
If you opt for a secret divorce with the revenge motive or to get the most out of separation, dwell whether you can put up with the sense of guilt that will come later. Moreover, it may turn the divorce procedure into the nastiest one.
Additionally, if you hide the preparation process from your partner and then reveal it suddenly, you will not give them a chance to digest everything properly and hurt their feelings deeply. Having no opportunity to get prepared, your mate will only get the case prolonged, wasting your time and money as well.
So if you are considering a secret divorce, analyze all the pros and cons and conclude whether it is the only option to change your life for the better.
Research Safely
If you have decided to follow a secret divorce path, you need proper preparation. It is recommended to avoid hiring an attorney as long as possible; otherwise, it is a high probability you can get revealed.
You always have the Internet to research the local regulations and online divorce service for reviewed divorce docs and assistance. This way, you can get fully prepared without leaving your house. Still, you should clean the history of browsing and better use private mode to hide all the traces of your divorce-related activities.
Prepare Emotionally
Planning a secret divorce, you are in a more favorable position than your partner. You have the time to solve your hesitations and inner conflicts and make the final decision. You have a chance to grieve and let your past go, leaving the space for a better future. So when the time for the divorce procedure comes, you will be concentrated and confident in your decisions and actions.
Again, mind that it is unfair to deprive your spouse of emotional preparation if you haven’t got a serious reason to hide your intentions.
Care about Financial Stability
If during secret divorce preparations you wonder, ‘Should I get a divorce checklist?’. Stop and get one, and put financial concerns on top of the list. Mind the following points:
- Save money – divorce proceedings and all the related issues along with a transition to a post-divorce life will cost a lot. So you need to save as much as possible so that you can organize your future in the best way.
- Improve bank history – it is always good to have a backup plan when it comes to finances. This means you need to improve your credit history. Use some of your credit card costs and return them on time so that you are presented to be a reliable and financially responsible bank client. This way, you can get your credit limit increased, and conditions improved.
- Evolve your career – prepare for your financial independence by improving your career. Aim at a higher position and a better salary if you already have a job. In case you are unemployed, go job hunting as soon as possible.
- Keep to a reasonable living standard – many people in the pre-divorce period lowered their living standards to save more for the divorce process. If you hope to get spousal support, try to avoid this. The estimated spousal support will be calculated based on the recent year’s expenses. The less you spend, the smaller support you will get.
Overall, you have to be ready to count on yourself when it comes to divorce and further life and finances. Otherwise, it will be difficult for you to deal with either a secret or revealed plan for divorce.
Arrange Escape Plan if Necessary
In case you seek how to secretly plan a divorce due to safety reasons, you need to include an escape plan in your preparation list. Find a place where you can escape when the time comes. It can be your close friend’s or relative’s house or a rented place. Transfer the necessary clothes, docs, and other belongings there so that your spouse doesn’t suspect anything. Right before you decide to announce the divorce or get your partner served, move to your safe place.
Nurture Mental Stability
Planning divorce secretly is a huge emotional and mental tension. So as not to lose your mind, it is essential to care about mental stability. Do it on your own by meditating, practicing breathing techniques, spending at least ten minutes a day on your favorite activity. Or you can ask for help, attending a therapist, or talking to a close person you can fully trust.
Secret divorce is a serious decision that will require good stamina and many efforts to succeed. So you’d better opt for it in extreme situations only when it is your only salvation and road to happiness.
